Out of the mouths of Babes

My son is not only a great source of wonder, amazement, and amusement, but he teaches me something everyday. I will have to blog about all of the stuff he amazes me with, and all he teaches me, but tonight I want to focus on the amusement. I was in the middle of blogging about my husband when it was time to put my son to bed. I stopped blogging to help him brush his teeth, and when he stood on his stool it reminded me of something he said the other day. I was laughing so hard, I had to postpone the blog about the husband for a blog about the son.

First: The stool story
The other day, I hopped in the car after my last final, and my husband said, "Hey baby, have you been having constipation problems?" I think my jaw hit the floorboard before I was able to respond to this. My response was something like "Why?" and the answer to that question was "Our son says you have big stools". Well, then, my three year old jumps into the conversation and says "yeah, Mommy has big, hard stools, and they're EVERYWHERE!" I am utterly mortified at this point, and yet happy that it's only the three of us in the car. Just to clarify things, my son was talking about STEP STOOLS, and he would be right. I do have a couple, they are somewhat large, and they are hard (what good does a soft step stool do you?).

Second: shaken, not stirred
I'm sitting in our office researching some craft projects and activities for this summer when my son is out of school. I become aware that my son is singing (not unusual, he's very musical), but then the words register. "I'm going to have a martini. I'm going to have a martini very soon". And OMG I just figured out where he got this from. Anyway, so I called my mother-in-law, and ask her if I should be worried if my son is singing this (this is a joke, it's more to tell her that he has been singing it). She says maybe I should screen his friends.

Now, where did he get it? One of his favorite movies is Enchanted. The bad guy tries to poison the "princess" with poison apples which he makes into an apple martini. Then he offers her the apple martini. So, this is where he got the word (because he shore nuff didn't hear it from us!), but I think he made up the song on his own.

Third: The Baby Brother
One of our friends recently had a baby, and when I showed my son a picture of the baby he said "OH! did it just pop out???" I told him yes, because I figured it was much easier than trying to explain birth to a three year old. Now, he thinks that babies just live in someone's tummy and they pop out whenever they want. So, he shares this with everyone, and tell them about his baby "blooder" living in his tummy. Then he tells them the baby brother will pop out in "this many days" (usually holding up five fingers) and he will learn him how to eat, and how to talk, and how to walk, and how to drink. If this isn't enough, he tell them that he will let his baby brother sleep on the top bunk, and if he gets scared he will bring him to us. I know this is very sweet for a three year old. But now I have people asking me when the baby's due. Ummm...it's not!

Anyway, these are just a very FEW of the stuff my son says that amuses me. I hope you get amusement out of it as well.

Boobs

Ok, so this is really starting to tick me off. My boobs recently grew from an F cup to an I cup. Pick your jaw up off the floor, I said an I cup. Yes, they do exist, they come right after H. Anyhow, I am still cramming my now I's into an F size cup. This is not only starting to become painful, but my bras are beginning to fall apart, too.

So today, I went on a mission. I decided I would look for new bras online (because it's freaking impossible to find my size in a store). I find a few web sites that have my size but then I start looking at the prices. What, just because my boobs are big means I can afford to pay almost $100 per bra??? Because I have big boobs means I'm made of money?? No!

So now I'm aggravated because bras in my size cost an average of $88, and there's NOOOO way my husband's going to let me buy new bras for that much, even if I am in pain! I curse the man who thinks that if your boobs are bigger than an F that you must have paid for them, and can therefore pay an arm and a leg for bras!

I'm wondering how people deal with these huge boobs....